But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
.. but you will always be the only thing i got right. :)
It's not easy juggling my time, emotions and energy at work..with running/swimming for July 31. It's tough when i'm physically worn out, emotionally drained but mentally buzzing. I have selfishly pursued my own passion and dreams, i admit i don't have time to even give you attention - but you stand by me and support in ways, big and small.
Yes, sometimes i overlook them.. i don't notice until i stop in my tracks and look back at where i've been and where i'm going. But i'm not perfect. I'll do what i can,
Feeling like it's the absolute pits. Was hoping to bring the training up to speed but since i crashed on Sunday, i haven't done anything. Anything but work.
I've been posted inhouse. So effectively, my time is split between client and agency. Effectively doing two jobs at two different locations. All that on top of new accounts. And as if that's not enough, alot of people have been missing for various (legit) reasons. It's absolutely insane. Actually it's manageable - except that it's taking up ALL my time.
Say what? Another event? pffffft..
I don't even want a break to train. I just wanna take a break to go on a holiday. Thinking of Bali? Or maybe that dive trip i've been wanting to take for years, finally be a certified diver. Woohoo!
But the OSIM triathlon coming up and the army half marathon beckons. How like that you tell me? I'm super pissed and frustrated.
And that distraction is back. Oh gosh.. it's going to be a test, cos when at my weakest, even the simplest of words can sound like sweet honey.
Gotta keep calm, stay strong, focused and persevere. If you're not going to help me, then stay away.
So it's been a fairly good 3 weeks.. did (mostly) what i set myself out to do. Was really tied down with work and i couldn't help but feel i neglected some time with my friends.
Work is going to take a huge change - Frankly, i didn't think i had a choice in it and given that the new post would start on Tuesday, i guess my bosses couldn't say 'no' to the client right? Well, since this 4 month stint is already in place, i guess i'll take it in my stride and make the best of this opportunity.
Thing is i've gotta make training work. I've got my sights set on OSIM triathlon in July, Army Half Marathon in Sept and of course the StanChart Marathon in Dec.
Speaking of which, 3 weeks and i find myself struggling with the normal 12km yesterday. Perhaps i was just tired out but i couldn't help to think that all the long runs did sh*t for me. Felt really demoralised, i overate this weekend and it certainly didn't make me feel better.
Sometimes, the news at work, the lows in training and the fact that i've given so much/sacrificed alot for all this with no returns just makes me feel so stupid and just wanna throw in the towel.
But i'm not weak. Maybe i won't see the results just yet. Or maybe i need to rethink what i'm doing wrong. Even if the work situation is proving to be a difficulty, there's always a way. I gotta keep my chin up and face it like a man...like the athlete that i set myself out to be, like the athlete i am.
Thing about running long distance is your feet gets sweat-soaked for 3-4hours every run. Yeah, after couple of runs you live with the discomfort..but the i think it's come to a point when there's no saving my toes..
warning: the images below may be disturbing to some. viewer discretion is advised.
Ok, looking at these photos...i'm kinda grossed out by my own feet. Yucks.
It's been a good 2 weeks. In summary, i did regular 20ks, got my swimming arms back and still managed to find some time to meet up (although not as regular) with the peeps. Work has not been kind though. I've found myself taking the lead for alot of accounts due to colleagues/bosses taking long leave and sick leave.
Even having to work late many nights, i don't know how, but i still manage to squeeze in (recovery) runs! Awesome i say.
So 2 weeks down, 1 more week of intensive training to go.. then it's a whole new regime for the big day - July 31.
I've stopped thinking about my target. I'm enjoying my training now and i'm learning a whole new perspective of it - discipline.
I get injured, failed to lose weight, slow improvement despite hard trainings..all because there's no discipline. I MUST do my warm-ups and cool-downs proper. I MUST watch what i am putting in, and i've just learnt that i MUST do recovery sessions.
5 days into June, so far so good. Training has been up, i've done regular 22 -26km runs. Unfortunately the latest one on Friday night really killed the knee, i actually walked back for a good 10km home. Yikes..
I read that runner's knee is due mostly to uneven development of the quad and hamstring muscle. Guess i should do more strengthening for my hamstrings!
Anyway, it was a really depressing walk home from ECP that night. But that's when i remembered when i crashed on my living room floor, the afternoon i got home from my first Olympic tri.. and she was there to put a ice towel on my head and stood by to take care of me even when i just K.O-ed from utter fatigue.
Hmm, i really missed that. Guess it was one of the things i took for granted - as i pursue my goals, it's really nice to have someone to support you that way.
Well, time to suck it up and recover quick cos i got more long(er) runs, swims and rides to do in prep for July 31!
I’d rather be physically and mentally exhausted from running a marathon than being emotionally drained from handling all drama and office politics.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to just excommunicate yourself away from all the drama because I find that burden totally unnecessary. For whatever reason, friends do not talk, innocent people get dragged in, camps form within the office and emotions run high. The only running that should be high is the one that involves pounding the pavement every alternate night.
Oh well, what a fitting way to start 7 weeks of intensive training. I’m really going to miss the company, laughs and support I’ve been getting from my peeps. Suddenly it seems like everyone’s gone! (for reasons, good or bad) But I guess my shoes, that lonely track and that start line remain.
Oh, I know you’ll never leave me…even when I neglected you for so long. Felt good to do long runs. I hope I’ll make the 20kms a regular session – every alternate night. And I felt a familiar soreness in my arms after doing 1.5km pulling at the pool for my main set. Oh my, how I have neglected my swim.
You may call all that my distraction; running away from my feelings and emotions. I look at it as running into something that gives me great pleasure and joy.
