My Sweet Escape

Whenever i'm going through a tough time, i punish myself... by signing up for another race.

In September, when i wanted to forget someone, i signed up for the Ironman triathlon. Today, i signed up for May's metasprint triathlon.

Here comes the pain.

Almost there...

It's finally here. Just 5 more days to the big race. Mental note: Go easy, no rush, survive. I've done all the training i can and now it's all about resting well, carbo loading for what's going to be 7 hours of going on and on and on and on...

The biggest dread i have is the mental part. It's perfectly normal to feel fatigue, but the dreariness of having to continue will be the biggest challenge i foresee in this race.

But thankfully, then again, i might have enough "issues" to keep my mind occupied. The two biggest concerns, work and girl issues (again?!) are undergoing major changes.. and there's lots to reflect on and keep my mind and emotions away from the monotony.

So exciting.

Perspective

It's all about perspective and the past month has been a real eye-opener for me. Really blessed to have the right people or in this case, a particular friend who's been an important emotional and spiritual guide for me. It's one of those moments when you have the lids taken off your eyes and realise, "how couldn't i have not seen that all along?" 

In short, life's getting so much better and i'm so sure it can only keep going up.

In normal circumstances, i would be complaining about my lack of preparation for the big race in 2 weeks' time. But it's all about perspective and i'll keep doing what i should do and enjoy the journey. Even if i don't do it, there's going to be more oppotunities for me to race in other events. 

At this moment, i'm only clocking 28km runs, 40km bike sessions and 2km swims with a couple of weight sessions in between. Very very far off from being race-reader for a 70.2 ironman race if you ask me. 

Still enjoying the occasional tanning session at the pool. After a goo 2km swim of course.

But yes, it's all a matter of perspective and being emotionally and mentally stronger has helped so much. In racing or training, i've put aside motivation that spurs me to compete with others. There's no point putting myself against other racers, most of who i know are semi-pro and champions.. the only person i'm competing against is myself. And that cannot be any more true. It's that small voice that tells you, it's ok...you can stop. It's that voice of reason, that wisdom of self-preservation, that lazy part of you. It's evil.

And there's power in the spoken word. It may make you look mad, but hey, i tell myself audibly that i won't stop until i am done. i ran today, or i didn't..there's no tomorrow. Just. keep. moving. go. go. go.

Thank God for it all. In everything, He's the first and the last. In pursuing a new (old) career, in relationships, in all my success. Always seeking and putting Him before all else makes everything fall perfectly into place and it has given me the ability to love others better, become a better me.

There's no complains. It's gotten and will continue to get better. Looking forward to the big race in 2 weeks' time!

Lost the Plot

I feel so disgusted with myself. 4 months...4 friggin' months and look what i've become...

August 2011

December 2011

Screw the Chinese New Year goodies. I'm going hard and i'm going fast. Dammit.

I am a Runner

It's been a whirlwind end to 2011. The last couple of months had its ups and downs; coming out of it, i'm just glad there's abit more sanity to everything. But through it all, i (once again) lost sight of who i was and all the grand plans i had...

I gave up running the 42. I got distracted and stop training to pursue other interests and in the office, work just kept piling up. I was happy for awhile, then it got bad, then it got confusing...then it just got plain messy.

Fast forward to 2012, when i counted down to 11 weeks to the Ironman, i panicked abit. Then i did a slow 10km run...and panicked abit more. I did a 2k swim and totally flipped. Almost 2 months of snacking uncontrollably and zero training have resulted in me becoming a slug. I took a photo of my body and was totally disgusted.

<3

<3

err..yeah you get the picture

After a couple more runs, i'm mentally preparing myself to make the best of the remaining 10 weeks and i'm not expecting anything out of the race but to have fun and cross the line safe. And through the final training phase, i hope to discipline myself as it's getting harder to juggle work with training and alot on the personal side as well.

But i'm now optimistic, because when i started getting confused, impatient and self-righteous, i lost sight of myself doing what i enjoy and just being happy.

When i started running again, i found that little part of me. When i know who i really am, it became obvious what i want. When it was obvious what i want, i naturally knew how to get there. 

And even though whatever the decision and path i choose, it's not going to be a bed or roses and someone's bound to get hurt (including myself)... but isn't that what training is about too? It's not going to be easy, sacrifices gotta be made and when you finally cross that finish line, you'll know that it was all worth it.

I feel sanctified, i feel re-energized, i feel like i'm starting anew. I'm going to give this another shot, and this time, i'm not losing sight of who i am.

Argh

Didn't do the stanchart marathon and am still having withdrawals. It's irritaing to see people post their marathon experience on Facebook. Yes, i admit i'm a sore loser that way...so i deactivated my FB account. Ha!

Yeah yeah..childish. So what. It's my account and i wanna take a break from all the drama there.

Oh well, it's been a really horrible month with work sapping alot of energy and time. I've barely clocked any mileage and my belly is spilling over my belt.

Less than 4 months to the Ironman!

Giving 2011 A Miss

I will not be running the 42km this year after all. Decided a week ago to give this year's edition a miss. If anyone is interested to have a free slot, please let me know. I will be uncontactable next weekend. Time to look forward to the next big race, Ironman 70.3 in March.