Motivate

3 more weeks to 42km..

Training is a b*tch. I ask myself, why am i doing this.

Why? What for?

There could be a million reasons, but right now, all i need is one.

But sometimes, you don't. Because, you just do it.

Snuff the Flame

After a two week hiatus, i finally did a long run - from Boon Keng, i ran to Kallang, then the entire East Coast Park and back. I'm still trying to figure how far i actually ran last night, but based on timing, i've not been able to run continuously for three hours (3:09 tops).

It kinda made me panic abit, knowing that 42km is exactly four weeks from now, i'm still far from my promise to not walk the entire marathon.

A big challenge i'm facing now, from doing these long runs, is after doing one, you don't feel like running for a long time. Sometimes, my body tells me, "you've done a great job! awesome! ...now stop it and let me rest you stupid prick." So sometimes after a good run, i get lazy and not be as disciplined in training. With four weeks left, i'm not sure if there's more i can do.

At the very least, i've finally subscribed to advice of 'eat as much as you can'. I'm not as conscious as i am about my weight/physique anymore; i'm pretty happy with my current 'curves' and since i'm burning more calories now, i can afford the occasional junk food.

But i may have to be alcohol-free from now until race day. So no beer or 'cockblockers' when i meet up with the guys/girls. Thou shalt not succumb to social pressure. Let's see how that goes. So how?

I'm still finding new motivation to get through to 6 December. For now, it's just the thought of my Philippines trip the following day, but i still need something stronger. Any ideas?

Tri*Factor Triathlon

My second Oly Triathlon and best yet! I'm happy i did 2 hour 35minutes!

Waiting for the Six...

I did a good run yesterday, and that's giving me motivation to do another one tonight. But my legs are still aching, so i should give it some rest. At this point of time, i'm finding harder and harder to find motivation to do my runs.

Perhaps it's been 3 years since i've committed myself to doing endurance events and the fact i've pretty much reached where i can go as an amateur. I'm really blessed to have a job that allows me to commit that much time/energy to training and preparing for races. If i had been in an agency (which i am actually planning to go back to), i doubt i'd have the luxury. Secondly, i'm so thankful to have advice from professionals - specifically dieting. Professional athletes pay for such services. I have a good friend who kindly does it for me, for free!..professionally i might add. Awesome.

I used to have an avid supporter who would be there for all my events. Sounds superficial but think about this - whether you are running your first race, or doing your third full marathon, knowing that there's someone waiting for you at the finishing line, patiently waiting, even though you'd probably take another hour, makes a hell lot of difference.

He/she is eagerly waiting to see your body appear round the bend. He/she's cramped up with hundred of other supporters under the blazing midday sun, and yes, he/she hates crowds.

And he/she is willing to support you. Now how does that sound? I'm only too grateful and to have lost such a supporter is really sad. If you have someone like that for you, i hope you're not taking him/her for granted.

Not letting this get me down, i still want to keep going. I'm still going to keep training and i definitely want to get faster. But now, i think i'm going to hit another wall.. bad timing of course, considering i've got 42km in 5 weeks' time, and an Ironman in March next year.

Shucks. If only i could just turn professional for couple of months, that would be so cool. The closest i'm getting to that is via Lance Armstrong's tweets. Sheesh.

A Good Break

Took a short break from training and spent the weekend at a quiet beach in Malaysia with collegemates.

But still ended up doing a short 6km run along the shoreline. It's really therapeutic to be running with the waves crashing at your feet, endless horizon and though the sun was awesome (as prayed for), the cool ocean breeze made it as perfect as can be.

Someone is missing

Maggi Mee & Monopoly

A view i will always miss.

While it wasn't a 5 star beach getaway, it was good enough i managed to get some rest, time away from the busy city, my mind away from work and most of all spending the time with good friends.

Altough training for December's 42 km and work beckons tomorrow, i'm really not in the mood to think about it. For that 24 hours away from Singapore, diet, exercise, work...was all out the window.

Long Runs & Heart Rates

I finally made it to running 3hours 3 minutes without stopping. Difference was a really carbo-laden dinner i prepared myself...

Aglio olio style - lots of olive oil, garlic and some pork cubes. I filled myself with a full packet of pasta and even after my run, i wasn't hungry (which isn't usually the case). I also took Yellow's advice and drink 500ml of isotonic drink. But i'm not sure if i drank a little too late, after 2hours of exercise.

But all in all, i'm contented i managed to run 3hours at a consistent stable pace. I'm hyped! Going to plan a 30km run next.

I also got myself a TIMEX Heart Rate Monitor. Awesome stuff. I haven't really played around with it, but i've monitored my heart rate for couple of 14km runs now. I've been able to hit like 150 bpm consistently. So..that's an OK zone right? Like 150bpm for 1hour20minutes?

I love tech and i love sports. This is the best of both worlds, baby! For noobs like me, i feel so pro. Hahaha!

Abrasion!!

Unfortunately, noobs like me don't wear the band properly and don't even have the cow sense to apply some vaseline. Ouch.

After all this time...

Perhaps running is my feeble attempt to move on. But deep down, i can't because i'm still wishing i can turn back time.




Looking back at the past 16 months. I really can't believe all that has happened and i don't know if there will ever be that 'high' and that perfect joy that i have experienced.

Although i know it, i definitely cannot feel it right now. I have never felt like this before. Never felt so stupid, so sorry, so angry, so miserable and so wrong. This shall be the lowest point in my life.

So i can keep running and moving forward with time. But somehow, i left my heart back there... when i could tell her i truly love her, forever.

After all this war
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go