A pound of flesh

Oh no, it's back.

Having stayed away from the cheeseburger for the past couple of months, Mac's is back..with a vengence. I've been eating well for the past 1.5 weeks, but the Quarter Pounder is back.

And it doesn't look good. I think i'm going to be very tempted to order one after my run later tonight.

I mean, now i'm not really training for any specific race, i can take it easy right?

..like why. so. serious?

Back to All Over Again

I may not choose to race, but i know im addicted. I 'forced' myself to take a weeks' break. Total inactivity and feasting on everything and anything.

The belly is bigger, the breathing is harder, and the brain is definitely lazier. No kidding, from training for an Ironman to total inactivity and disregard to the diet. There was a huge change.
And i don't like it.

Even though i'm not down for anymore races for this year, i just can't stand being a slob again. And i already know the climb back is going to be painful. Yes, i started eating fruits for breakfast, stopped drinking coffee and cutting down on the carbs. My body is readjusting to a sugar-low and the 'empty' stomach feeling. I'm gulping water to keep myself full.

Worst part is putting on my running shoes again last night. It was so darn demoralising to be panting after 20minutes. It was slightly over a week ago when i knew i was sprinting for a good 50minutes before pushing myself to go another couple of kilometres. Now, i can barely do half the distance/time.

And what's worst? I could feel my belly jiggling above my running shorts. Like WTH?! To add insult to injury (or obesity), my running singlet shrank.

Oh wait, that's cos my arms are flabby now, my manboobs have gone from a size B to C. Yeah...from size Bad to size Crap.

Damn. Tonight, i'm going to swim. If running was that bad, i dunno what's going to happen when i hit the pool later...

Water Displacement.

Yay!

Wow. I'm so happy that everything just fell into place over the weekend. I'm glad that i enjoyed Sunday's race! It didn't rain, unlike Saturday, so everything went on as planned. I have so much to be thankful for and as a promise, here's everything (and more) that i have to be thankful for,

I got a parking lot at carpark E2. That is the carpark right in front of the transition area. The way i got the lot was nothing short of a miracle too. Knowing how i bombed at last year's race, God surely did not want me to walk too far after the race.

The wait wasn't painful. While waiting for the wave start, Lin (who is doing the PR for OSIM) came by to chat with me. It turned out to be a nice catching up session. She came by to congratulate me when i crossed the finish line so i guess that makes her my number one supporter! She was there at the Ironman tri too.

The race was awesome. I managed to start off well, together with the leaders at the swim leg, and there wasn't the usual jostling and kicking. Well, there was one person who was drafting and kept tickling my toes to my annoyance. But other than that, the swim and most importantly, the bike... was a breeze. I saw people crashing into the sides, others yelling for slower cyclists to keep left, but i had none of that.. i actually moved pretty well!

The run was painful, but at least i managed a good pace throughout.

And to top it off, my twin came by to support me and bring me go eat prawn mee and yummy (green tea) ice cream after the race. It was a really awesome Sunday.

I was really pleased with my timing of 2hr46min. Considering how the final week went by, i couldn't ask for more.

Oh, and i just saw the final results. I finished 23rd. =)

Nice...

(song for my 'soul sister'!)

... happiness. Thank God!

Showers with Thunder over many areas

Sigh. What does this mean?

I've never felt this low before. It does seem like i'm not meant to race anymore. OSIM brings back bittersweet memories. I totally bombed out on my first Olympic triathlon last year, but have since improved and been doing better times for subsequent races and ultimately ended with a high with last month's Ironman.

I continued training hard and felt that i could overturn this OSIM jinx and made 2010 the best standard distance race ever.

Then right at the most crucial point, my entire week of training got disrupted. So that flushes all my training down the latrine. While i'm gotten over the past week, physically i'm in a mess. I tried doing a short run yesterday and i was not feeling good.. just eight minutes. Not good.

I'm feeling like a lamb brought to the slaughter tomorrow. And frankly, i'm thinking of just pulling out of the race. But thinking about that makes me really want to kick myself and i'm already feeling like crap for wanting to.

And now. The rain is pouring down. There is no way they're going to do an open water swim in these conditions. So the race might be cancelled anyways. But that's not helping me either.
This just sucks. If i race, i'm going to bomb it. If i don't it's cos i chickened out or the weather didn't let me. Either way, it's not going to be a happy ending.

What. The. F.

Closure.

It's good to get closure, and the past three days have been physically and emotionally draining. I've never been this much involved in a dear colleague's passing. If you are reading this and have somehow been offended by my certain curt replies or for those to whom i have not replied at all, i'm sorry.

I ask for your pardon.

Now it's time to move on and i have to prepare for a race this Sunday - the OSIM Triathlon. Initially, when the news broke on Tuesday, i kinda expected my involvement in the subsequent proceedings and i felt that i would not be ready to take part.

I was ready to give the race a miss.

Then again, it's time to move on and even knowing that i can't hit my target, i should at least finish it and do it best possible way. After three long days, irregular meals and an emotional tsunami (not just grief), i plan for a short run tonight to get things going back to normal again.

This i promise you. I'll see you at the start line, this Sunday.