"Full steam for HP-Trifactor triathlon"

Full-steam-your-head la. Yeah, that was written in my diary couple of months back when i was charting my training for October's race.

I'm still feeling slack and i've less than 4 weeks to race day. I've never been this unprepared, ever. I've not touched chlorine water for 10 days. My bike tyres have gone flat. I've not ran more than 18 km during the past 10 days.

It'll be a miracle if i can finish in a decent time. If this laziness keeps up, it'll be a miracle if i can even finish the race.

Worst part is, i have the motivation of a couch potato.

... i can't even be bothered to bend over and pick up that book.

Haunting

Sweet disposition
Never too soon
Oh reckless abandon,
Like no one's watching you

A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
Our rights, our wrongs
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh

Just stay there
Cause I'll be comin' over
While our bloods still young
It's so young, it runs
Won't stop til it's over
Won't stop to surrender

Songs of desperation
I played them for you
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
our rights, our wrongs
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh

Just stay there
Cause I'll be comin' over
While our bloods still young
It's so young, it runs
Won't stop til it's over
Won't stop to surrender

A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
Our rights, our wrongs (won't stop til it's over)
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
Our rights, our wrongs (won't stop til it's over)
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
Our rights, our wrongs (won't stop til it's over)
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A moment, a love
A moment, a love (won't stop to surrender)

-Sweet Disposition, The Temper Trap

i wet myself...

Ok, suddenly i feel anxious. IPPT is in couple of days' time and i've been eating well...too well. Going to have a feast on Friday night with the colleagues, a buffet tonight with the ex-colleagues, and had a food tasting session at the Shang last night...

That's three consecutive nights of stuffing myself. And then IPPT on Saturday morning. The thing is, i still feel the same as i did 5 years ago when i was at my fitness-worst. Knowing i do Ironman triathlons, you must be thinking 'wtf la.. IPPT is what compared to your races, still scared for what? then people like me so fat and never exercise can just go and die la'.

Wait, wait, wait...

Let me explain. You see, it doesn't matter whether i'm a couch potato or an olympic champion. IPPT is still a test, it is still a form of 'race' in which i am expected to perform. So naturally, i would want to perform well. I do agree that if i'm the latter, perhaps i wouldn't be as as anxious, knowing that i can probably get the gold incentive... (but then again, if i'm the former, i wouldn't be anxious at all and just screw the test altogether and sign up for Remedial Training immediately...cue *FML*)

So you see, i believe that feeling anxious is inevitable. And i guess that applies to everything in life as well; especially at work, like meeting deadlines, clients, appraisals. Perhaps this even applies to when you're going out on your 14,724th date.. you still feel that anxiousness?

If it's unavoidable, might as well embrace it. After all, it's this anxiousness can help spur us psychologically (if contained at the right level). At least i know for sure that it does povide the adrenalin to push the body beyond its normal limits. Just that as of now, i'm trying to contain it to a good level...

Can't be helped that i don't feel as prepared as i should with so much feasting just before the test, and this week basically derailed the training schedule for October's triathlon and December's marathon. Sigh.

Oh well, as for saturday's IPPT, even if i don't get the gold incentive of $400, at least the gahmen is giving me $10,500 for the National Service Recognition Award. So i should learn to just chillax!

Thank you la, Mr. Lee..*wee weet* So hamsum!

So How Now, Brown Cow?

IPPT this Saturday. I feel more motivated to get the cash because it's going to go to my nanny's family. It's sad to hear of (yet another) death in her immediate family. Mother-in-law, husband and sister... all in the span of 2 months. Well, even if i don't get the monetary incentive, i'm going to give anyway. :(

And even with the three consecutive dinner-meetings this week, i believe i'd be in good form for the test. I figured that even if i can't do my runs, i can still allocate an hour at night to do 200 sit-ups and 100 push-ups. Heck i can even do it in my room, half nekkid.

Yes, i'm building on my core. But it's kinda challenging. I'm feeling the ache in my upper body and i like it. But i can't seem to feel anything at my abs. It's THAT bad... i actually did 200 sit-ups in the park yesterday, until i 'struggled' to lift myself up. Was expecting to feel sore today, but noo... i feel BLOATED. How come like that?!

I'm motivating myself to get some definition with this photo...

2008 OSIM triathlon.
Don't you just want to reach in and pinch that layer of giggly lard? *Mmmm*!!!

Concentrated and Focused

At the end of it all, if there's only one thing that matters, one thing you can change - what would that be?

If there's one thing i've learnt, it's to be focused. Most times, our judgement and problems get clouded by our 'innate intelligence' that brings in too many factors, possibilities, different outcomes and 'what if's. Work problems, relationship issues and now my training - i see that getting to the root of the problem and addressing it solves the problem quickly, effectively and with alot less heartache.

I can safely say that i've maintained my fitness to a good level. I can complete Olympic triathlons and finish marathons without (major) injury. But pushing up my rankings and doing personal bests requires me to get out of this plateau.

I've been increasing my distances steadily, but my body is not responding too well. My knees are getting busted and now i feel it at the ankles too. I know something's amiss when physically, my body is not getting into the shape it's supposed to be (to perform) on top of all these injuries.

It's my core. I believe i've been neglecting my core all this while. I should do adaquete warm-ups/stretching (aiyar, i admit i lazy sometimes...ok, most of the time) to loosen the core and prepare the body for work and after my runs, strengthen it with more crunches and planks.

not only because it looks good, a body like this means you got a 'core'. I want.

... addressing the one thing that is truly needed and everything else will naturally fall into place.

A Lame Excuse

One week of inactivity for me is like a decade of hibernation. It's been a really rotten week after monday's holiday when i was all set to achieve a challenging training program this week.

Of the years i've been running on this route, i finally had my first fall. I was really pissed at that chinaman who didn't bother sharing the walkway with me. I should have just rugby-tackled him. But i skipped onto the grass patch to avoid him, and who the hell throws a multiple plug adapter in a park?! Some idiot did and my left foot landed right on it, causing my ankle to overpronate and i couldn't believe what happened next.

I remember tumbling forward, then rolling onto my back into the drain. I could feel sand, twigs, dried leaves in my hair, stuck on my perspiring body. i was flat on my back looking up. Then i felt it. A sharp pain through my left ankle.

F*CK.

Then i sat up and my natural reaction was to grab the ankle tightly. "Sh*t, cannot run already" was my first thought. That's when i saw him.

That friggin' chinaman was couple metres in front of me now, staring down the drain at me. I looked at him, clenching my teeth in pain. He looked at me. I wasn't sure if i said "help" because i was dealing with the searing pain and was still in abit of shock. But that mofo just stood there. Best part was, he looked around to see if anybody was nearby.

Noone. Then he looked at me. And..walked off.

It's been couple of days now and i still don't believe it...
1. You didn't bother to at least lean aside so we both could pass each other.
2. Who the fark throws a plug in a park.
3. You looked around to get help. ...NOT.
4. You left me sitting in a ditch.

FML.

Fat, Fatter, Fattest

I put on weight. 3kilos to be exact. I've stepped up training and been increasing my distances steadily.

Longer runs and swims mean that my appetite is insatiable and i've been eating everything and anything. It's weird.


I'm actually running more but i'm getting fatter. I know that i haven't been watching my diet; i've been eating whatever i can get my hands on. Like by the time i finish my 2 hour runs, i'm only left with ordering Macs. Either that or instant noodles. And i eat ALOT, to satisfy my hunger.

My tummy is back.

So my body is burning more fuel but i've been putting in crap to (over)replace the burnt storage. No wonder i've put on weight. (note: my exercises are all cardio, no weights, whatsoever) Think i really need to buck up on the diet part, especially when i'm training harder than before.

I keep telling myself this too, but i really gotta start cutting down on the late nights and the vices that come with it...

... but i've just gotten to know Mister Mac.