Concentrated and Focused

At the end of it all, if there's only one thing that matters, one thing you can change - what would that be?

If there's one thing i've learnt, it's to be focused. Most times, our judgement and problems get clouded by our 'innate intelligence' that brings in too many factors, possibilities, different outcomes and 'what if's. Work problems, relationship issues and now my training - i see that getting to the root of the problem and addressing it solves the problem quickly, effectively and with alot less heartache.

I can safely say that i've maintained my fitness to a good level. I can complete Olympic triathlons and finish marathons without (major) injury. But pushing up my rankings and doing personal bests requires me to get out of this plateau.

I've been increasing my distances steadily, but my body is not responding too well. My knees are getting busted and now i feel it at the ankles too. I know something's amiss when physically, my body is not getting into the shape it's supposed to be (to perform) on top of all these injuries.

It's my core. I believe i've been neglecting my core all this while. I should do adaquete warm-ups/stretching (aiyar, i admit i lazy sometimes...ok, most of the time) to loosen the core and prepare the body for work and after my runs, strengthen it with more crunches and planks.

not only because it looks good, a body like this means you got a 'core'. I want.

... addressing the one thing that is truly needed and everything else will naturally fall into place.

A Lame Excuse

One week of inactivity for me is like a decade of hibernation. It's been a really rotten week after monday's holiday when i was all set to achieve a challenging training program this week.

Of the years i've been running on this route, i finally had my first fall. I was really pissed at that chinaman who didn't bother sharing the walkway with me. I should have just rugby-tackled him. But i skipped onto the grass patch to avoid him, and who the hell throws a multiple plug adapter in a park?! Some idiot did and my left foot landed right on it, causing my ankle to overpronate and i couldn't believe what happened next.

I remember tumbling forward, then rolling onto my back into the drain. I could feel sand, twigs, dried leaves in my hair, stuck on my perspiring body. i was flat on my back looking up. Then i felt it. A sharp pain through my left ankle.

F*CK.

Then i sat up and my natural reaction was to grab the ankle tightly. "Sh*t, cannot run already" was my first thought. That's when i saw him.

That friggin' chinaman was couple metres in front of me now, staring down the drain at me. I looked at him, clenching my teeth in pain. He looked at me. I wasn't sure if i said "help" because i was dealing with the searing pain and was still in abit of shock. But that mofo just stood there. Best part was, he looked around to see if anybody was nearby.

Noone. Then he looked at me. And..walked off.

It's been couple of days now and i still don't believe it...
1. You didn't bother to at least lean aside so we both could pass each other.
2. Who the fark throws a plug in a park.
3. You looked around to get help. ...NOT.
4. You left me sitting in a ditch.

FML.

Fat, Fatter, Fattest

I put on weight. 3kilos to be exact. I've stepped up training and been increasing my distances steadily.

Longer runs and swims mean that my appetite is insatiable and i've been eating everything and anything. It's weird.


I'm actually running more but i'm getting fatter. I know that i haven't been watching my diet; i've been eating whatever i can get my hands on. Like by the time i finish my 2 hour runs, i'm only left with ordering Macs. Either that or instant noodles. And i eat ALOT, to satisfy my hunger.

My tummy is back.

So my body is burning more fuel but i've been putting in crap to (over)replace the burnt storage. No wonder i've put on weight. (note: my exercises are all cardio, no weights, whatsoever) Think i really need to buck up on the diet part, especially when i'm training harder than before.

I keep telling myself this too, but i really gotta start cutting down on the late nights and the vices that come with it...

... but i've just gotten to know Mister Mac.

Kiss & Tell...

I'm not one to kiss & tell. So...i'm not telling. Moving right along, that was one helluva weekend. I know i said i wouldn't do alot of things; but i did. And many things i didn't know i can do; i did.

I still got three 15km runs to complete by this week and i plan to do one after work today. My knee is the last thing i'm actually worried about. My lungs and my liver/stomach..i hope they hold up tonight man. Yikes..

What a weekend...




... how about it...one more time?

Very Careful Now

I'm being very careful. If it means i'm getting smarter, then it's a good thing i've become more selfish and not be so open to just about giving attention, money, favours and most of all, my love, so easily.

Going to focus that attention and not risk further injury. I'm really grateful to those who have showed me concern. Yes, i'm easily touched, i wish i can reciprocate but i can't. Not yet. While its nice to see people turn up at races to show support, it's the people who are there during rehabilitation and the unglamorous times (during injury) who really care.

Money has never been a problem for me, i guess i don't live a lavish lifestyle. I could finally pamper myself on a pair of Newtons and then Oakleys. It's only right for a gentleman to pay on a date, but only if she's a lady. It's shocking to see girls expecting to be impressed and have the extravagant dinner date and shopping paid for (even on the first date). I've been 'poor' before, and when i see a girl who's willing to stand by a guy during the bad times, she deserves nothing but all that i've got. But i need a new pair of running shoes.. better break into them before my upcoming races!

I'm not going to give favours away as easily as i used to. Sometimes i feel like people just wanna make use of your connections - to know your good-looking or famous friends. That's bloody shallow. But i guess it's normal when it's called 'networking'. Yeah, lose weight, gain friends.. but are those 'real' friends? Anybody can be part of the crowd, cheering you when you're a champion, but true friends are the ones beside you when you're limping to the finish line at last place.

By being selfish, i hope i'll be selfless when it comes to love. Being nice to just about everyone is wrong; the girlfriend needs to feel exclusive. I can't decide if i love running or swimming more, but she must definitely feel like i love nobody else more.

i heff all i need..

I need to be more careful now. I've already risked my knee, can't afford to break another part of my body... the heart. :)

Down

My worst run, tonight. Depressed. Didn't finish the run. Busted the knee.
F*ck.

###

Updated on 22/07/2010:

Physically alot better. I can't keep my right knee bent for more than a minute before it starts to hurt. Manual driving was a real bloody torture. Sigh.

Ok, it's not so bad. I'll be physically better. Water-exercises later will help sooth the pain. I'm still really sore (no pun intended) about not being able to finish the run. The feeling of quitting is alot worst than losing. I almost finished, i had 2km more and i gave up. I f*cking quit.

Been telling myself it's only a run, don't risk permanent (or isit already?) injury, there's more chances to run, etc etc...but it's like consoling myself. So how am i supposed to do to get better if i don't break this barrier?

I'm planning to do a OD tri on 3 Oct before the 42 in Dec. I need to push myself to another level or it's just gonna be the same results again, again..again.

Feeling like crap. I can't even imagine feeling worst than this.. perhaps after my first OD tri in 2009? Talk about that..CRAP...dammit, angryy... !#%^*

ROAR!!!!!

One or Two

I'm (kinda) glad nothing happened last night. Was so tired from work, i totally collapsed. Bad news is i didn't run and i ordered Mac's. At least i got enough rest and i didn't put the 'real' bad stuff into the system.

And because i had sufficient rest last night, i should be good to do a long run AND a swim. While i was packing the gear this morning i was thinking about the days when i did all three. I ran in the morning, swam in the afternoon and biked in the evening. It's not easy (totally crash on the bed after a day like that) but the feeling you get from accomplishing a full day of exercise is very rewarding.

I miss that.

I don't even know if i can attempt to do a swim or run later. It's almost time to knock off work; I plan to do the 15km run in the afternoon (since the sun is not out yet) and maybe hit the pool in the afternoon. Really hope to get abit of sun while i'm at it.

I looked back at my old photos and i want to go back to be like how it was...

except that i'm moving forward with this.