And now... for something new

I'm going to stop, really. There's no more excuse not to. My knee's recovered considerably, my fitness is back, i'm ready to go longer, faster and be fitter.

It's time i draw a proper plan and stick to it best i can. 4 runs, 3 swims a week. No meals after 10pm, no fried food, more fruits and fibre.

And while training for Dec's 42, i guess my IPPT before October will help me gauge my progress. Time to cash in on that four hundred.

I'm praying that from now til then, i stay injury-free and my schedule continues to allow my training. Feeling really good about all of it, i see everything falling into place and i'm really happy. Thank God.

I had this funny dream... that i was running the marathon with her. It's her first marathon and she's nervous, but i assured her that i'll run it with her all the way. And we did...round the bend, what a relief to see the finish sign.

The crowds on both sides are cheering us down the final 200 metres. And though she's tired, i can see her smile from accomplishing a gruelling 42km. Kinda reminded me of the feeling i had when i completed my first 42.

She's holding my hand now, looking straight at the finish and soaking up the cheers. I hold her hand and we jog slowly towards the final stretch. She is amazing; i can feel her pulling me along now, the pain a couple of hours ago seem to disappear as she's really enjoying her achievement.

Just a couple of steps away, i grip her hand tightly and i pull her back. She turns and i see that smile facing me now. I can't believe how beautiful she looks, even after running a friggin' marathon. Her smile fades and confusion sets in.

"What, why are we stopping in.."

I made sure she's looking at me. I looked straight into her eyes and suddenly the cheers become muted. The other runners running past us become shadows, a blur... as i see her face radiate with charm.

Perhaps it's my problematic knee acting up after five hours of running... i get down on one knee..

"I don't want to finish this race without you... I want to run the rest of my life's race with you; i'll be running behind you, cheering you on when you are tired. I'll be running ahead of you to help guide you, and i'll walk through every painful moment with you, your hand in mine."

I can see her eyes widening and i think i see a crowd staring at us. I think it's kinda moist, but i take out a silver band from behind me. (i think, 'thank goodness i didn't get an abrasion from carrying this')

"I want to cross, not just this finish line...but my life's finish line with you... will you let me?"

...Will you marry me?

The painful climb

It's been two weeks since i'm back and as expected, it's the painful climb to get back my fitness. I've only been running and it's really painful both mentally and physically. My lungs are like the size of my fists; i run out of breath after 15 minutes of running. I miss going 2hours non-stop.

I haven't even hit the pool yet and i already feel like i'm becoming translucent. I miss the healthy tan but i'm really lazy to swim and late nights have not helped either. At least i feel like the alcohol and bad stuff is coming out of the system. During my first few runs last week, i can almost imagine me sweating out beer. Slowly but surely, i'll feel clean and pure. (damn sounds like i got STD)

I believe the European diet is alot healthier. Though we have several courses per meal, the food there is never (or very seldom) fried. There's no chili like what we have in Asia, so there's no greasy/oily chili sauce. The only thing about the European diet is that it can get salty and is carbo-heavy. Well, the latter is good for the long endurance training right?

In terms of training motivation, i'm glad that i'm finding some renewed peace and joy. I know i used to channel all the anger and emo-ness into my runs and that really worked. But as all that negativity melts away, i find myself running with pure motivation to get stronger/faster. I take inspiration from the great Chrissie Wellington; she's such a joy (literally) to watch.

My life's not altogether perfect at the moment and there are still a few question-marks, but i'm focused on what i need to do and prepare for future races. I'm starting to find time to meet up with friends and family too, so what more can i ask for? I'm sorry if my training made you feel like you were not important. Hey, i promise that's all different now. I'm just a SMS away, let's meet up!

July

Half of 2010 has gone by. It's time to make the other half better! With only the December's marathon to train for, i will be missing the triathlon. However, i promise to sign up for next year's edition and my second Ironman triathlon. Perhaps, i will look forward to finally doing an overseas race!

On another note, i am experiencing technical difficulties. Many of my social networking sites are down/deactivated. And that is a blessing in disguise. It's good to keep things simple and spend more time with you - the people who really matter.

No more pretentious pictures, comments, tweets and 'likes'. If you need me, you've got my email at least. If you want to, you've got my handphone number and i'm just a SMS away.

I'd rather talk to you and meet up over a good meal/drinks. That's how serious i want to be with you!

If not, i'll keep myself busy with what else...training!

Munich, Salzburg & Vienna

I'm back from Germany/Austria. Although it was a 'work' trip, i'm glad i had some pockets of time to enjoy. Overall, it was the people i was with that didn't make it feel like work. Thank God for that.

That's George, one of my roomies. He's European (durh) so he's like the perfect companion. Got to appreciate the culture abit better thanks to him.


I was with the cutest bunch of kids; kids who say the darnest things. They made the trip more memorable and fun.


And of course, there were loads to drink. Actually, i drank every single night i was there. I dont remember drinking much water. In a single day, i had five different alcoholic drinks. Beer was like standard beverage at lunch, red wine during dinner and all sorts of hard liquor (like whiskey) after dinner.

It was fun the first couple of nights, but at the third, it was just tiring. We had to work the next day too, so that was bad.

The diet was mostly mashed potatoes, pork, salad, soup and alot of freshly made bread. Surprisingly, i think it was a better diet than what i've been having in Singapore (apart from the carbs).

So it was a good break and i'm supposed to start training all over again tomorrow. Sigh.

At least when i train, i remember the clear waters and long roads i saw during this trip. Makes me wanna come back and do a race here someday...

Break

"Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When i won't have to leave alone
About the times, i won't have to say.."

I'm leaving on a jet plane. Be back in 2 weeks.

Bed-ridden

For the past 12 hours, i've been planted on my bed, only to get up for meals and trips to the toilet. And i hate this.

It's a good break from running and swimming every other day. I think i'll be good for a swim tomorrow and soak in some sun. I'm gonna miss training as i'll be away in Germany/Austria and i hope i don't backslide too much. Yikes.

But for now, i just need to get out of bed. In a way, i did deserve it. Got kinda upset, had a long night (us four, finally!) and this is what you get. Worst morning/afternoon ever. Gosh if i can remember, i think i was really quiet in the corner and just kept pouring.

Argh, no comments. I'm just looking forward to the time i'm totally immune to all of it. Won't be long i guess. I can feel it coming. Tricky thing is, i might slide the other way. Nothing exactly wrong with that, but it just ain't the most 'acceptable' lifestyle. You know what i mean?

Stop imagining la. It's not what you think it is, you sick perverts.

Just Two.

I'm thankful for whatever life is throwing at me; i'm taking everything as a learning phase and it's all about becoming a better person at the end of the day. I've come to realise that i've found stability in two things - Jesus Christ and training.

I don't doubt that everyone has a conscience and know when they made a boo-boo. Guilt and fear is a clear indication. Worry is the subtle cousin that tends to come before that.

I know i haven't exactly been the best role model at times; i curse when some driver cuts my lane, to being a total jerk when it comes to people's feelings. The best part is that it's not about me, but how great is a God that knows how much i am failing and with the purest form of love, He forgives and turn my screw-ups around to bless me abundantly.

"God's law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God's wonderful grace became more abundant." - Romans 5:20

I'm really comforted and loved to have that assurance.

Running/training has also given me so much in keeping me sane. It takes on so many different forms for me. A run after a busy, emotional draining day just lets me spend time alone, collecting my thoughts in prayer and getting my bearings right for the task ahead.

On other days, the anger is displaced when i pound the road or crawl up and down the pool during the evenings. Better than keeping it inside and going crazy, a run/swim always helps to diffuse the frustration.

I know i've neglected my two loves from time to time. The best part is, they've always been there even when i haven't. Everytime i need to, for as long as my knees can take me, the track will always be waiting for me to visit. I thank God that He'll never leave nor forsake me too. He's really awesome and is always just a whisper away.

I'm really blessed to have the two with me. But somehow, i got the feeling that there actually might be a 'three'...




...all along.